Fall Family Fun

There's nothing like jumping in a pile of leaves (despite allergies, fear of bugs and a general dislike of being covered in rotting plant life, taken last week? 2 weeks ago? I forget. As always you can click the images to enlarge them.)

Turkey Hand Sugar Cookies (no children were injured in the making of these cookies, but copious amounts of sugar was consumed)

This is often how I find my crew, sleeping off a hard day's play.

For more free family fun, I suggest calling the Nestle Crunch Hotline at 1-800-295-0051. When you are asked if you want to continue in English or Spanish, just wait for about 10 seconds. For even more fun press 4. (my favorite in option 4 is #7)

Rudolph Impersonation

Sophie took a header off of our front porch. She had been pushing her little shopping cart and didn't stop when she got to the stairs. I didn't get to her in time and I watched her flip head over feet down 3 concrete stairs and onto her shopping cart. Together we sat on the driveway and cried. This is a momma's guilt that I'll never let go. My first thought was of AAI. She's not yet been x-rayed (they recommend this at 3 years old). If she has it, a simple childhood spill could result in very bad consequences. In any case, she recovered much more quickly than I did and is now sporting a gnarly scab that covers a good portion of her nose and bruises on her forehead and in between her eyes. I've joked that I should buy her one of those head bands with reindeer antlers and she could be Rudolph. Mark was not amused. Hey, ya got to find the silver lining some where. And yes, that is a very snot encrusted nose as well as we're all still friggin sick (except Mark, knock on wood).

p.s. Mark got some very exciting news on the job search front today! Very.Exciting.News!

You Know You're My Saving Grace

It's one of those songs that I instantly liked. I love Beyoncé. I loved the melody. I loved it when they used it in a mash up in Glee. We even use it as a cool down in my Turbo Kick class. Then, without noticing it happening, I started paying attention to the lyrics and it hit me. This is a song about romantic love, but I'm claiming it for me and Soph.

As a mother to a little girl with special needs, I went through a very dark period of grief when her Ds diagnosis came to us prenatally. During a run-of-the-mill 20 week ultrasound, we were told we were having a girl and 10 minutes later that she had a serious disability and a life threatening blockage in her intestines. There was a 30% chance that she wouldn't survive to be born.

I struggled with my acceptance and began my journey into the world of parenting a child with special needs long before we ever held our daughter. Together we've come such a long way and there is no one, except her daddy, who is as proud and as fierce of a protector of her as I am. She's not only teaching me, but she's teaching others about the value of all children and she's blowing us all away while she's doing it. Truth be told, she is my hero. She is my angel. She is my saving grace and even when she's acting out as any child in the terrible twos will, baby I can feel her halo.

As I made dinner tonight, my girl and I danced it out in the kitchen. I am so very thankful for the honor to be her mom.

Halloween Posters

I have the post-Halloween blues. I'm in no hurry to take the rest of my decorations down and I've burned through Alexander's candy. 2 of the 3 of my mums are no longer with us. Helena has begun a late/all-night scream fest (we're going on a week now), though she is not sick nor are any teeth coming in that we can see or feel. My Google Reader won't stay under 150 unread posts. Ba Humbug!

So, as I'm stuck in a recliner for much of the day and night, unable to do my chores that require moving about or making any bit of noise, I've decided to play with photo editing. This is something that I can do in the dark with little disturbance to my tiny boss.

On Halloween night we had a Respite sitter come over at 11 pm and we were ready to head out by 11:43. I put on my Marilyn Monroe costume that I first wore in Madison 6 years ago (as in before having 3 children, thank.you.very.much). The dress is a vintage silk blend gown that I got in Madtown. It has been a motivator for me to lose weight (and now that it's over, I need a new motivator!) It suffered water damage when our basement flooded recently and it fell off the hanger. Fortunately, I found a cleaner who was willing to give it a go. They did a pretty darn good job.

Mark wore his authentic Soviet military uniform and overcoat that he purchased in East Berlin in 1993. Except for his new combat boots, it's the real deal and he was a hit down town. Some people got it confused with a Nazi uniform. A couple of even spoke to him in German, which is funny, because he also speaks German as well. I heard him say in German a few times, no this is a Soviet uniform. He also got a few comments referencing the After the Fire song Der Kommissar('s in town, whoa oh, don't turn around, whoa-oh). Oh, and at least 2 Colonel Klink comments. A creative suggestion was that we were the fashion police. It was a good time, but we really missed living in Madison as they know how to do justice to this holiday.

So here goes. I will post the original photo or poster that inspired me (or that I blatantly stole from) and then my final versions. They turned out pretty good, if I do say so myself, even if I don't really know what I'm doing with the editing.

(ORIGINAL) Quintessential Marilyn

(MY VERSION) Inspired by the shot above and many others, really

Although Mark and I have been to Moscow (and the Kremlin-right there in fact) non of our pictures were quite what I wanted. I found this one on the internet.
(ORIGINAL) Assumption Cathedral in the Kremlin, Moscow

(MY VERSION)

Again, we've been here as well, but didn't have quite what I wanted. Random person with chef's hat found on the internet.
(ORIGINAL) St. Basil's in Red Square, Moscow

(MY VERSION)

(ORIGINAL) Real LIFE magazine cover of Marilyn

(MY VERSION)

(ORIGINAL) Propaganda poster, Stalin in Soviet uniform. Says, "Cadre Decides Everything." The message is something to the effect of 'it is all the people who are involved in making decisions,' not just Stalin, for the benefit of the good citizens of the USSR.

(MY VERSION) Mark in Soviet uniform and coat looking quite striking I must say.

VP Nixon giving a speech at the American National Exhibition in Moscow 1959 while Soviet Premier Nikita Khrushchev looks on.

(MY VERSION) Check out the crowd of bystanders, just for fun.

(ORIGINAL) another classic Marilyn poster (I couldn't find her signature in a large enough size to copy it exactly)

(my version)

Well, there you have it. Hope you got as much of a kick out of this as I did!

Happy Halloween

Domestic Violence, the Original Pandemic

Pandemic as defined is "an epidemic of infectious disease that is spreading through human populations across a large region; for instance a continent, or even worldwide." If we were to equate domestic violence (DV) abusers to an infectious disease (which I quite like), then this definition works. Abusers certainly destroy more lives and kill more people every day than H1N1, and yet we hear little public outcry for a 'vaccine' or 'cure.' DV happens to people in every race, socioeconomic status, religion, age, sexual orientation, and education level as abusers do not discriminate. The spread of DV goes unchecked when we turn a blind eye and say that it is a private matter, when our law enforcement or laws fail to protect our citizens, and when our society condones many of the behaviors of abusers while blaming the victims.

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. In my former life, before staying home with the kids, I coordinated the 24 hour crisis line at Domestic Abuse Intervention Services (DAIS) in Dane County, WI. It's a hard job and even when you leave the field, you never leave the work behind. It stays with you, forever changing you.

The following video is a story that aired in Madison, WI, but it could have been told in any town. Leigh Mills and my friend Shannon Barry do an excellent job covering the domestic murder of Francie Weber by her husband who committed suicide. I cannot even imagine how Francie's niece Letitia got through this interview or how her children get through each day. The story in itself is not unique, but therein lies the problem. It's happening EVERY DAY in this country and across our world.

I could go on and on about this subject, about how you know or perhaps are a victim or survivor of domestic violence, or about how serious and wide spread this is. DV can be physical, sexual, verbal, emotional, or financial, and it is about power and control and entitlement. We as a community must stand up and hold abusers accountable. I could talk about why it is NEVER the victim's fault and that there are many legitimate reasons for staying in an abusive relationship. I could tell you that DV victims (and their kids) are at far greater risk of being seriously injured or killed by the abuser once they separate from them and even years after leaving. Instead I'll just ask that you take a couple of minutes to watch the story as they all did a phenomenal job portraying the reality that is domestic violence.



If the video doesn't work, click HERE.

Powerful, wasn't it? DV advocacy by itself is very important to me, but sadly I've been introduced to another layer and that is DV among my new community of families who have a child with special needs. This, my friends is something that I rarely hear discussed.

I know that I am blessed to have a wonderful husband and extended family. I've developed some amazing friendships since Sophie entered my world and have grown closer to old friends. My support system is strong. My access to Early Intervention is good. My love for my daughter is deep.

Sadly, not all parents who have children with special needs have as many resources. Many struggle through each day in ways I cannot imagine. Even more tragic is the fact that much of the abuse of children with special needs is sustained by the hand of a parent or caregiver. Imagine, if you will, a home where the mother experiences domestic violence. Imagine then what the life of a child with special needs is like as they witness this abuse or are directly abused. These families are even more isolated and at more risk for serious trauma and injury.

What can be done? Volunteer or donate money or needed items to your local DV program. Join online forums for special needs and offer your support. downsyn for families and friends of a loved one with Ds is my favorite forum. Be a friend and listen, keeping your eyes and ears open.

I'll leave you with one last set of stats taken from the ARC:

- 1 in 3 children with disabilities are victims of some form of abuse, sexual abuse, or neglect. (Sullivan & Knutson, 2000).

- Individuals with developmental disabilities are 4 to 10 more times more likely to be victims of a crime than people without disabilities (Sobsey, et al., 1995).

- Children with developmental disabilities are at twice the risk of physical and sexual abuse compared to children without disabilities (Crosse et. al., 1993).

For more information or to get help, please contact:
The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE
The National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE

My Hubby - My Hero

I haven't blogged much about my hubby, besides our family adventures and date nights. Truth be told, he's a pretty swell guy. He's the fun one. The one responsible for keeping laughter in our home. The easy going one. He's kind, brilliant, forgiving, and patient. He's really funny too and the best story teller I've ever known. (plus he puts up with ME!)

Nobody works harder than Mark. He's been lucky enough to find a career where his skills and passion collide. This man is a fabulous professor. He has been working as a visiting professor for a couple of years and has been simultaneously on the market for a tenure track job. His area is Russia and Eastern Europe in political science. He also teaches international relations and comparative politics. If you have any ins, please send me a message, as the job market has been brutal, to put it mildly. His website is HERE. Check it out and you too will see how dedicated he is to his field.

Mark's first book The Political Power of Bad Ideas (cover art by his brother Dan) is being published by Oxford University Press and is due out in a few months. You can take a peek and pre-order HERE or HERE. He has a contract with the New York Times for an op ed (date TBD) and a couple new articles coming out soon in various journals. (yes, I am a proud wifey)

The thing is, it's not just me, his mom, and his kids that think so highly of this man. His students love him, and they should. Have you ever heard of a professor staying up regularly till 4 am to hold online review sessions before tests? Bending over backwards for every student and honestly wanting each and every one of them to be interested and succeed?

At our Buddy Walk this Saturday, our opening remarks were by by Mary Beth Versaci, whose little sister Patti has Down syndrome. You may remember her as the university student columnist for the Daily Illini who wrote THIS piece about some local nastiness. She also happens to be a student of Mark's and she also was involved with our Spread the Word to End the Word 3.31.09 event on campus. With her permission, I'd like to share a little of the speech that kicked off our Buddy Walk, because besides being an amazing professor, husband, and dad, this man is Sophie's biggest advocate.

"Last semester, I took the class Introduction to Political Science taught by a professor who is actually here today, Professor Mark S. I believe it was in the first class after we had watched the Presidential Inauguration (because it happened to be that same day) that Prof. S. introduced himself and talked about his family, including his daughter with Down syndrome, and then went on to talk about the r-word. He told a story where he was walking with his family down Green Street in campus town and I think it may have actually been after the Buddy Walk or some sort of event for Down syndrome awareness, and he heard a group of college students throwing the r-word around like it was no big deal. I remember distinctly that he described hearing the r-word as being like a dagger, and not only was that the first time that I heard someone else talk about how much they hated the r-word, but he also described exactly how it felt because as I mentioned earlier, in my own mind, I had always described hearing the r-word as feeling like I was being stabbed. And I just want to say thank you, Prof. S., so much for using your position as a professor, where you have the opportunity to talk to so many students everyday, to speak about the hurtful use of the r-word, and I also want to let you know that I know for a fact it makes a difference. One of my friends who was in the class with me actually stopped using the r-word, and not only that, but he also helped out on the Spread the Word to End the Word Day, a day dedicated to encouraging people to stop using the r-word out of respect for those around them, on campus with passing out fliers, buttons and stickers and getting signatures from people pledging that they would stop using the r-word, and even now, he has one of those buttons on his backpack. So, even though he doesn’t have a sibling with an intellectual disability or anything like that, he changed his ways and actually became a big advocate of the cause all because of what you said in class."

Ya, that's MY guy!

Mary Beth's entire speech was wonderful (not just the part about Mark). Here are her concluding remarks: