If My Life Were a Headline

or tag or blurb it might read:

"Don't Call Us, We'll Call You"
(Sophie had her 1st and last appointment with a vision therapist who was SO impressed with her that she said she didn't see a need for services. Her follow up appointment with opthomology yielded similar results. "She looks great and she's so cute. I can't wait to see her grow up. Come back in 3-4 months." We love being unimpressive in this way.)
or
"Professor Eats Head of Student"
(Just 2 weeks after the start of the summer session - where during introductions Mark talks about his daughter with DS and challenges the students to stop using the *r word -in class a student describes American policies as *r. Mark ate his head)
or
"It's Too Hot to Be This Fat"
(self explanatory, or as Amy recently said, its time to have the Come to Jesus talk with myself about losing weight, or move to Siberia)
or
"Messy Kitchen Perplexes Man"
(muttering overheard, "You know what we really need around here? MORE boxes of half eaten Cheez-its."
or
"Are Your Hands Tan or Just Dirty?"
(little boy needs a bath)
or
"Woman Speaks in Code, Confuses Family"
(As in; Sophie who has DS and receives EI is scheduled to have PT on Monday, DT Wednesday and just had OT. These appts. were just after her 6 month IFSP in which we added ST. At 6 months of age she had an EEG and follow up EKG. I need a pint of Guinness ASAP but let's keep it on the DL, OK? I often feel a little like this)

If your life were a headline, what would it be?