Tonight's episode of Grey's Anatomy is called "I'll follow you into the dark," which of course makes me think of the Death Cab for Cutie song of the same name. It's a song that usually makes me cry. Good thing I can blame pregnancy hormones.
If the embedded video is acting wonky, go here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbqtuFemMOE
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Until I went looking for this song on the internet, I had not seen the video. I liked the song, but I really love this video. I find it to be quite profound in its simplicity to convey exactly what’s going on in his mind and grieving process. This is what the video says to me.
It begins with the world outside. The sun still shines. Kids still laugh and play, newspapers keep coming that pile up unread under his bed, despite the fact that he has lost the love of his life and the world should stop on its axis. He is fully grieving and the world keeps going on as if nothing has changed. He is living now in a shell of his former life. The stark, tiny studio apartment is how small his world has shrunk to since his great love died. It could also be a metaphor for his state of mind, barely recognizable even to himself.
It’s hard to function, to do even the simplest basic survival activities. He’d rather stay in bed but he can’t help but notice the hole in the floor. The hole is death, possibly suicide to accomplish his death, and maybe being lost in the past in his memories where he can be with his love. At first it’s just a small part of his world, but quickly he cannot turn his attention away from it. Even when he manages to stop thinking about it for just a second, it demands attention. It breaks wide open and he steps in it for the first time. It’s both frightening and comforting to be in that place.
He goes on, trying to live, to eat, but is barely able to pay enough attention to pour milk into the bowl. His mind is now fully on the ever growing hole. He begins to spend more time there, though he continues to fight it. It grows ever larger, ever present until it is all consuming and he no longer has the will to fight it. I’m not sure if he dies, but I think so. It could be that he just completely loses his mind to grief.
Yet, just as when he lost his great love, no one really notices when he is gone. The world does not stop spinning. The sun still shines and children still play outside.
It’s a little different than the lyrics which are about his great love that is still living. Maybe the person has a terminal illness or injury. It could be that he’s just completely, in love. All encompassing, obsessive love, to the point that he knows he’d give up his life, heaven and hell to be with his soul mate.
That’s just my 2 cents.
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