Thursday, October 21, 2010

Dream Analysis, a Doozie

I've always been a vivid dreamer. I don't mean daydreams (I do that too). I mean very detailed, complicated dreams in color. I used to be a sleep walker and talker too. My mom would lead me back to bed and tell me the next day about the bizarro conversations we had that I had no recollection of.

I've read a few dream analysis books and find it amusing to try and analyze my own and sometimes close friend's dreams. Some are clearly anxiety or complete nonsense themes but if I think about the content, they have bits and pieces of what I had read, seen, or discussed in recent days. When I dream about my teeth falling out (which happens every so often) I've read that it is a vanity dream. They usually happen when I've started (another) diet, or need to.

The rarest of dreams are the ones that feel completely real. Often they involve a loved one that has died. We have wonderful conversations or just visit without needing spoken words to communicate. Other times these real dreams seem to be more like premonitions (impending death of a loved one, etc.). I don't have these real feeling dreams very often. When I do they usually wake me up shaken or happy, depending on the content. I try and write the details down right away before they slip out of my consciousness.

So, I invite you dream analyzers help me with this doozie I had last night. Mark made an appearance just at the beginning where we returned to an apartment we had left behind (where?, I don't know as it isn't a real place). We had left it fully furnished and full of our nic-nacs and pictures. In the dream I knew them to be mine but none of them are real things that we actually have. It was sort of like being on a different plane of reality. Mark vanished and I found myself in the company of two young men (mid 20s I'd guess). I think one's name was Gary. They talked with me without actually saying words out loud.

The room began to resemble my grandparents home and I learned that I was in the Waiting Place and the two men were my guides. They told me I had died. I had not yet fully crossed over, hence being in the Waiting Place. (wherever that came from I surely don't know). I was alarmed at the news that I was dead and began hoping and shouting to wake up if this were a dream. I did not wake up and my guides calmly and soundlessly restated that I was dead.

I flashed to snap shots of my family and an image of Sophie in particular and became panicked and angry. Yelling that I didn't want to be here and demanding to know how I had died, my guides remained calm. They answered only that it was time to meet God. Was I ready? "Oh heck no, not yet," I said and I shouted even more. "Send me back, send me back! I'm going to miss everything!" Over and over I shouted, they remained calm, and eventually (after an eternity) I woke up.

I have no lingering message of "you better start doing ___ or stop doing ___." Nothing. Just being shaken at the intensity of this very, very real feeling dream.

So, have at it. What the heck was that about?

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2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Babe...no real worries. I believe it is every parents fear about what will happen should they pass away before they have raised their children. You saying that you are not ready is normal and what any parent would say and want! Our babies need us...and we need them! We all want to know that they are able to be as independent as they can be and that they have the tools t be successful.
You are a wonderful mother...your children will be just fine.
Rest easier tonight my friend!

love,
the prairie

RK said...

Well, dear, you know me well enough to not be surprised at this...and I'm no dream analyzer pro or anything... but if nothing else, I'd go with the one question. Are you ready? If not, get that way. :o) Then you're good to go whenever and wherever. Be ready to go, and be ready to stay. Bases covered!

As for me, I don't want to miss out on anything, I don't want my girls to miss me, but am I ready? Yep. 100% ready. Happy to go home as soon as my HOME is ready for me. Happy to stay here with my bunch for as long as I'm needed. Win-win!

Hugs, girlie!